Excited for: Super Mario: The Movie
Nintendo is teaming up with Illumination, the animation team that brought boomers minion memes, to make a follow up to 1993’s ground-breaking Super Mario Bros.
Shigeru Miyamoto (The creator of Super Mario) is co-producing it so I actually have a lot of faith in this movie.
I can see why he is taking a very hands on approach. If you were a kid in the 90’s you could probably remember the Super Mario Super Show, each episode ending with two guys dressed as Mario and Luigi doing the Super Mario rap.
Re-watching it now, I actually hope the new movie is just the Super Mario Rap for 90 minutes.
Two live action plumbers like in the original, but the cartoon in the background is CGI because it’s 2021 and we don’t do traditional animation anymore.
Annoyed about: Tetris
I remember hearing someone was making a Tetris movie. My first thought was how do you make a movie about falling blocks? It really piqued my interest. Every few months I’d see what was going on with that Tetris movie and after a few years I was greatly rewarded.
In an interview the producer of Tetris, Larry Kasaroff, was saying about how the idea was too big for one movie and it was in fact going to be three movies. It’s an epic sci-fi thriller.
Which just sounds like someone who has no idea how to make a movie about Tetris, but is trying to buy more time.
The plot according to IMDB is:
“In the future, year 30XX, mankind has finally reached the ability to travel at light speed using block-like spaceships called Tetroids. Deep in the universe lies the question to human existence-- could the Tetroids be the answer?”
Man did not create Tetris, Tetris created man. What is that movie about? Astronauts in a big Tetris
block having an existential crisis? It sounds like Larry has had one trying to write an impossible script.
Looking into it again to write this article I had found that they are finally shooting a Tetris movie.
Has Larry finally figured out how to make a sci-fi thriller about weird blocks?
No he hasn’t, the movie isn’t a 3 part epic. It’s going about how Tetris was created. Instead of getting the Tetris trilogy, the franchise no one asked for, we get this which nobody asked for either.
I hope that trilogy gets made though. I believe in you Larry.
Excited for: Fallout
Bethesda announced recently that they are working with Amazon studios to create a Fallout TV series. It’s being produced by Westworld creators Jonathon Nolan and Lisa Joy. I loved the first series of Westworld so I’m very much looking forward to the first series of this.
Fallout New Vegas is one of my all time favourite games. I love the aesthetic and lore around Fallout and with Amazon's budget and those producers, we could get some excellent TV.
The Fallout games all take place over lots of different locations and time periods, so I think an anthology series would work best for it. Something like Fargo or True detective. A season long story and then a new time period and new location for the next one. They are the masters of the first season so it would actually benefit them to do it that way.
Annoyed about: Detective Pikachu 2
Following the success of Detective Pikachu 1, which was other than; the boring plot, bad script and unrememberable characters. I actually enjoyed it, because it’s Pokémon. I have been brainwashed from a young age to associate Pokémon with any fond childhood memories and continually give Nintendo money so that I may feel happy once more.
I enjoyed seeing Pokémon in real life. It looked really good and even though it has all it’s problems, like it just not being very good, it still pulled at that nostalgia part in my brain. It also gave me hope for future live action Pokémon films. A kind of live action Pikachu I Choose You. Seeing real life Pokémon Battles and exploring Kanto.
Instead Legendary Pictures Announced a Sequel. Great, so we won’t get the film that would actually be good then?
Excited for: The Last of Us
HBO announced that they will be making a Last of Us series. It’s written by the creator Neil Druckman and Craig Mazin.
I was very excited when I saw that Chenobyl writer Craig Mazin was working on it. Chernobyl is one the bleakest things I’ve ever seen. It’s up there in my list of bleakest things I’ve ever seen alongside Threads and Blackpool Pleasure Beach.
Naturally I thought he was a perfect fit for The Last of Us.
I just went on his IMBD to spell check his name and to my surprise Chernobyl isn’t the only thing I’ve seen of his. He also wrote The Hangover 2 and 3, Superhero Movie and Scary Movie 3 and 4.
I think of this as a bit of an inspiration. No matter how many bad things you’ve worked on, you could still make something good eventually. It also makes me less excited he’s working on it, but we’ll see.
The casting is looking excellent and even if it’s not good, we’ve still got the first game.
Annoyed about: Fruit Ninja
Oscar winning director Guillermo Del Toro, has tried and tried again to make At The Mountains Of Madness but each attempt ended in a rejection because studios don’t want to take a risk on a high budget R rated movie.
This seems to be a big problem with cinema. Studios are adverse to spending much money on anything that isn't already a popular franchise and isn't anything above a PG13.
This happened when Gore Vibinski was making a Bioshock movie for Sony. The budget ended up too high and R rated movies are a big risk so they cancelled it.
But don't fret, rather than risk losing money on a beloved and interesting franchise filled with depth, they have greenlit an "action comedy for the whole family " based on our favourite app, Fruit Ninja!
When I get annoyed about these movies that are made purely for money, people will say why are you worried? Just don't watch it. The problem isn't that it exists, the problem is for every Emoji Movie or Angry Birds movie, a In The Mountains Of Madness isn't getting made.
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